Graduation Night Nightmare - Afraid of being lonely

Hi guys.. been a while since i posted on my blog hehe.. recently i have been a sleeping pig (thats last weekend) and this weekend im trying 2 stay awake o.o anyway, i've done my CS1102S PS9 (ok not really finished, 90% finished :P ) and im doing MA1101R tutorial now.. and i decided 2 slack 4 a while ahha :P anyway, today's entry is abt my nightmare that i had today morning while in dreamland.. but its true so let me tell u my story...

In 2004, when I was a JC 2 student, its around the period whereby everyone was excited because the school was toking abt graduation dinner and such.. and of course, 1st the student club (i forgot the full name) proposed 2 us the choices of hotels that we could have the graduation dinner.. i saw the list and i was stunned.. Swiss Hotel, Raffles Hotel.. u name the 5 star hotels, yeap they r in the list.. and the price was over $100 per person (bleh so expensive!!).. i chose not 2 go 4 the graduation dinner because 1) the steep price (i mean, its juz a graduation dinner, y need it 2 b a 5 star hotel?!) and 2) the reason below..

Around that period, my class was planning 2 book a table 4 the graduation night.. (max 11 on the table..) and 1 classmate was asking me, "Liyi! Y dun want go 4 graduation nite?" I told him the above reason and further replied, "the class had a full 11 pple table already, and the student club committee wun allow me 2 squeeze in that table.." and guess what he said? he said: "well u can buy 1 table 4 urself and sit in the table urself!" i was furious - how could u say that?! that made me even more persistent 2 go 4 the graduation nite..

In my nightmare, i dreamt i was at the graduation nite, really alone with myself a table and other pple whom i dunno in the 1st place sitting with me.. that scared me already.. im always scared of being alone, i never wanted 2 b alone in the 1st place and yet my whole JC life is forcing me 2 do so.. i dreamt till i saw the other table, which was the table whereby my 11 classmates r sitting, and enjoying themselves merrily while me - all alone with others laughing at their friends.. i cried on that nite coz graduation nite is supposed 2 b a happy event and yet no1 is enjoying with me, all put me aside as if im invisible.. and then i woke up in a fright..

i didnt go 4 the JC graduation nite in the end, but now as a uni student, im pretty scared that this nightmare may come true again in 4 years time.. coz i dun wish 2 b left alone.. im really scared of loneliness.. and being lonely is a feeling i NEVER ever wanna sink in2 again..

thats the end of my story, my little wish is that some1 would enjoy the uni graduation nite with me.. so that i never feel lonely again..